in which I grouse about seeing live shows.
So, I’d say I love going to see live (rock) music, but honestly, I’d be lying. There are so few shows that I can say were truly amazing throughout the course of my life, and the only ones that come to mind are those by ¡TchKung! in the Seattle/Olympia era of the late 1990s. Because yeah, musicians who play on trash, fire breathers, concert goers covering themselves in mud, and random takeovers of the city streets are, in fact, amazing. Also, the sound quality was pretty good, in or out of the theater.
(Live classical music, by the way, is a totally different animal. I have zero issues going to see/hear symphonies, other than cost, and the potential for whoever I’m going with falling asleep and/or making fun of me for being consistently moved to tears. Yeah, I cry at live symphonic performances. Whatever.)
Anyway, one of my favorite bands, Phoenix, is playing at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn next week, and for about five seconds, I was ready to buy tickets, before going “nah” and shrugging in a very Gallic way (Phoenix is from France, btw).
I really loathe seeing concerts in huge venues. The last one I went to was the final show of the Police reunion tour at Madison Square Garden, and yeah. Feh. I went to that show because it was going to be the only chance I’d have to see them live, ever (being under 10 for most of the 1980s put a crimp in my concert going during the Police’s heyday). It was… ok. The performance was great, but all the bullshit in the venue detracted from it (for me at least).
And mind you, I’ve been to huge stadium concerts all over the country. King Dome in Seattle, some gigantic fucking place in California, RFK Stadium in DC, blah blah blah. They all suck. It’s not just MSG (which mind you is probably the suckiest of all of these).
The tickets are ridiculously expensive. Overhead’s a bitch man, and while I’m all about supporting the bands, paying for these ugly ass, energy hog, sports-oriented, architectural monstrosities is not really on my agenda. I really HATE paying hundreds of dollars to be herded around like mentally disabled cattle through what is essentially a temple to concrete. And then sitting really really far away from the stage, and having to use binoculars because I can’t deal with the fiscal ass-raping that comes with buying “good” seats.
Also, the sound quality blows. Almost always. And I hate leaving these venues mostly deaf, with my ears ringing. Or having to listen to the show through ear plugs, which is almost as insulting as having to watch it through binoculars. Because, what’s the point of going, at this point?
Additionally, I have no desire to pay craptons of money to basically hear/see a rehash of a studio album that I could have listened to in the comfort of my own home for free. There’s also the chance that you’re going to pay a ton of money to see a really shitty show because the performers feel off that night, don’t give a shit, are really tired, or had their pipeline of cocaine cut off.
Fuck that noise.
Sorry, my dear, dear (imaginary) friends Phoenix, I will not be seeing you at Barclays Center next week unless the magical ticket fairy somehow coughs up free tickets to your show. (Then, I’d be there with bells on.) I’ll stick to listening to your albums obsessively while on the subway.
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