a complicated relationship

in which i discuss my incredibly mixed feelings about R. Kelly.

So, R. Kelly's first solo album, 12-Play, came out in my senior year of high school, and our school's administration desperately tried to keep "Bump N' Grind" off of every school dance's playlist ever after. (they failed). They also unsuccessfully prevented us from doing the "Tootsee Roll" at school dances (that, kids, was 1994's version of twerking. It can also be seen in the Bump N' Grind video below).

After that, there were what I deem "the blackout years," in which I was too busy doing other things (sex, drugs, & rock'n'roll) to actually pay attention to popular culture, so I missed pretty much everything from 1995 to 2000 (ish). There were a lot of drugs.

Which means that I completely missed "I Believe I Can Fly." Thankfully. However, my daughter's day care had the kids sing the song at one of their "graduations" (seriously. as it was put in The Incredibles it's a celebration of mediocrity). My child, at 3, mangled the lyrics into "I be like a fly." which cracked me the hell up. Also couldn't pass up the irony of a group of children singing a song by a suspected child molster, but  nobody else at the daycare saw it. Le Sigh.

I didn't really catch back up with R. Kelly until the Chocolate Factory era, at which point, he'd become a caricature of himself. I didn't quite take him seriously, but there were so many good songs on the album, that I was caught.

And then the whole child porn/sex with minors scandal hit.

Man.

That made it a little difficult for me to actually, you know, purchase one of his albums. It's one of the few times that an artist's personal life has actually impacted my desire to own their music (Chris Brown being another notable case). And it's a tough place to be in as a music lover, and a huge R&B fan. If I buy the music, am I supporting that type of behavior? Am I really putting money into the pocket of that guy?

Here's the thing. His songs are good. Some of his songs are transcendentally brilliant. Some of his work is such unbelievable crap that it comes all the way back around to awesome again (Trapped in the Closet, I'm looking straight at you). It's tough to ignore these amazingly beautiful songs. The man has talent, even if he is a child molesting ego maniac. (I'm not saying that he is, just if he is. Don't sue).

Anyway, after Chocolate Factory and TP-2 & TP-3 (which really makes me wonder about some sort of Freudian obsession with anuses), I contented myself with purchasing the occasional song or two of his off iTunes (Amazon now, thank you), and working them into guilty pleasure mixes on my music listening devices. And quoting his lyrics constantly, because, well, they're hilarious.

But now... with this most recent album, Black Panties, and the, might I say, NUMEROUS references to cunnilingus, I feel that I must support R. Kelly in this endeavor. Although it would be even hotter if I could just listen to Benedict Cumberbatch do a dramatic reading of then full album.

I watched/listened to "Cookie" today. And it was... magic.

Is it funny? Should I take it seriously? Is he taking himself seriously? Is it feminist? Is it exploitative to women? Who cares, just as long as Kelly is referring to eating pussy like an Oreo, and continuously refers to himself as the "Cookie Monster." I'm liking this trend, Kells. Keep it up.

heh.

(though honestly, what woman is going to be turned on by scantily clad females shaking their asses all over the screen? Really.)