It's so fluffy! I'm going to die! (of boredom)

In which I try to figure out exactly which part of Katy Perry the movie "Part of Me" portrays.

Confession time: Sometimes when I'm alone at night with my craft beer and my knitting and my 30 cats (ok so there are only two, but one of them is the pain in the ass equivalent of 30), I'll get extra fluffy and watch something. It would be so much cooler if I said it was something sexy, but usually it's something that Mr. Deviant doesn't give a shit about.

I figured the Katy Perry movie was a pretty safe bet, as Mr. Deviant is a male of the heterosexual variety.

And, safe it was. 

After watching it, I felt... nothing?

Ok, look, I'm a sarcastic, cynical bitch (if you hadn't already figured that out), and while I usually heckle tv and movies, especially the ones I like, I couldn't bat aside my ennui enough to actually find anything to snark on while watching this thing. 

The overarching blandness of the film... it just didn't touch me one way or the other. Katy Perry seemed nice. Her tour seemed nice. Her breakup with Russell Brand seemed absolutely bloodless. Her sister, brother and parents seemed nice. 

No, I'm not fooling myself into thinking that this movie, commissioned by the evil empire that controls Katy Perry's career, is at all the truth. I think that maybe bits and pieces of the truth may have been inadvertently left in the movie here and there, where nobody noticed it. 

On the whole, this was one of the most banal things I've ever sat all the way through. I couldn't even get inspired enough to turn the fucking thing off.

Shit, at least Shine a Light disgusted me enough to walk out. And that was some lame ass starfuckery.

It was a weird experience. I usually have strong feelings about (all the) things one way or another, and you'd think that bright colors and glitter would have been enough to elicit at least SOME reaction out of me.

I actually like Katy Perry's music. I didn't really care about I Kissed a Girl, but Teenage Dream and Prism, I've purchased, and regularly listen to a few tracks from both albums. 

The fluff, the tight song-writing, and (admitting it) the bright colors and glitter appeal to me. I enjoy the good girl-gone-wacky  n' wild vibe that she puts out. And it cracks me the fuck up that she calls her cat/mascot "Kitty Purry." 

Photo via Perez Hilton

So why didn't this silly movie connect with me? Have I actually reached the age where I refuse to look for meaning in the completely vapid? Is it just too fluffy? Is there such a thing?